Wednesday, August 08, 2007

“Places Mutherfucking Casi G has eaten”

This is gonna be a new segment I write called…

“Places Mutherfucking Casi G has eaten”

Basically its gonna be a really salty guide to places I have eaten in Philadelphia that are really real. So basically I am so tired of eating Cheese Steaks and pizza and shit like that, that I am always trying to find restaurants that don’t serve that shit and fit into my budget (el cheapo). So lets do this, and soon I am gonna nerd out on this shit and like figure out how to google maps these places and have places where you can comment. Also I am gonna try and code them to areas of the city. Shit is kinda blogcore but whatever, I just threw on this Iron and Wine track an am feeling like I need to make my mark on the world. Don't talk to me about this in the real world.

So I try to make it a rule that I never go to South Philly. Like I have no business ever being there, ever. Everytime I go I just feel out of place since I don’t eat pretzels, don’t watch the Phillies, and don’t listen to WMMR. So like a week ago I wake up on the floor of my apartment naked completely dehydrated after sweating for 8 hours and am like this is a perfect day to go to the Italian Market and get breakfast and some Draino. So I call up Dan and we decide to ride down there and get some shit to eat. I basically am thinking I am going to Pats at 12:30 since I don’t know shit else about that area. But we show up and there are like a shit load of cafes on Christian street. So of course we decide to go to the one that has the most fixed gears hanging off a tree near by and it happens to be “Sabrina’s Café” on 910 Christian.

So we walk up and first it’s really awkward. We walk into the first room and it’s really dark, kind of like this blue dark room that is really noisy. I was so not having that shit. So I ask the waitress if we can sit outside which I find out is a 20 min wait and we should just sit in the dark room. Now I am not having that. Like when I go out I am paying for an experience. I want it all and yes that means, coffee, water, juice and for my ass not to be sitting in the dark. Then I start to look around and I see my South Philly indy peoples. I think they are a little more raw then the north sider’s because they were seriously representing them bad tattoos like it was no joke. And that angle haircut? How do you eat your food with that shit.

So the waitress eventually takes us into the other room and its like night and day in that place. I seriously walked out of some dudes basement in to the country bumpkin roadside café in Vermont. Shit was on some yuppie extremist you are not in Philly but straight chilaxking in Maine and you would smoke a blunt but your like 33 now. I loved it. We sat in this raised table that had a family to the right hanging with there kid and we could look at the whole spread of the restaurant. This is always the best since I always want to see what other people are eating and talk shit about them aka figure out what the fuck they are up to.

So its on and our waitress comes over and gets our order. Dan got some Mexican eggs and blue corn thing which is so what ever. So I had to go crazy and order this crazy ass French toast with cheese in it. But while we are sitting there the waitress for the indy side comes over to the yuppie side and it just absolutely floored me. I couldn’t talk about anything else after that. She straight up had some line drawing tattoos, a small round oval face, black hair, tight hair cut, and had a pair of jeans on. She basically looked like my favorite indy girl trainwreck waiting to happen. I found out her name was Kirby and the shit was on. Well really I just talked a bunch of shit about talking to her but I never manned up. Instead I eat almost all my food until I felt like I was going to throw up cause there was so much food. Then the check came and for the food it was really well priced for the area. So I think I hit the girl with a 22% tip cause I was feeling really real and shit just tied my morning together. Before we left Kirby walked by me and I asked her for more coffee and she said she would be right back with it. So I thought this was my time I am gonna holler at her but instead this other girl comes back and I tell her I actually don’t want any more. On the way out we ended up running into Kid Blends sitting there with his girl and this really dope pair of neon Nikes on. Shit was crucial.

Google maps


GentleWhoadie9000 said...


I mean... wow.

John said...

Greatest F'in review of all time.